Men May Let You Down, But Succulents Never Disappoint
In recent years, a growing trend on social media has sparked conversations around the rise of the "plant daddy" and "plant gay" identities. Whether it's a Millennial phenomenon, a queer cultural shift, or a bit of both, the connection between gay individuals and houseplants has become a unique and blossoming aspect of self-expression and community.
The Millennial Plant Boom: Roots of a Growing Trend
Before diving into the growing connection between queer individuals and houseplants, it’s worth taking a step back to explore the broader trend. HuffPost’s article Why Millennials Are Suddenly So Obsessed with Houseplants offers some valuable insights into the roots of this obsession.
Drawing from the 2019 National Gardening Survey, the article highlights that a staggering $52.3 billion was spent on lawn and garden retail sales the previous year, with a quarter of that spending coming from 18 to 34-year-olds. Since 2014, Millennials have increased their plant spending at a faster rate than any other age group.
So, why the fascination with plants? Social media has certainly fueled the trend, with houseplants offering vibrant, Instagram-worthy visuals. However, the appeal extends beyond their aesthetic value. The rise in plant ownership among Millennials reflects broader social shifts, particularly the delay of traditional life milestones such as buying homes, getting married, or starting families. As Millennials put off these major life events, many are turning to plants as a way to satisfy their need for connection and nurturing, providing a fulfilling outlet for care and attention.
Plants offer a low-maintenance yet fulfilling way to nurture something living, without the complexities that come with pets or children. For renters, who often face restrictions on pets, plants provide an alternative source of companionship. The act of tending to a houseplant can create a sense of purpose and well-being.
Moreover, the Millennial generation’s focus on wellness—whether through fitness or self-care—aligns perfectly with the health benefits houseplants offer. Studies have shown that certain plants, such as snake plants, can improve air quality. Additionally, having indoor plants has been linked to reduced stress, improved attention, and increased productivity, creating a calming environment to counterbalance the pressures of daily life.
In line with these findings, a 2022 study by Melinda Knuth, an assistant professor at North Carolina State University, revealed that while Millennials own a similar number of plants as other generations, they purchase them more frequently. Their plant choices often prioritize wellness, and Millennials' concern for the environment also plays a role in their buying habits.
Interestingly, the study found that Millennials are more likely to report that houseplants make them happier than other generations, with 93% affirming the positive emotional benefits of having greenery at home. They are also more likely to follow plant retailers on social media and make purchases based on these platforms, further fueling the trend.
For Millennials and beyond, houseplants are more than just decoration—they are an outlet for self-expression, a source of wellness, and, increasingly, a form of community building. This is where the connection to the queer community begins to blossom, as plant culture and LGBTQ+ identities intersect in unexpected and meaningful ways.
The Rise of the "Plant Gay": LGBTQ+ Millennials and Their Love for Houseplants
According to a 2021 Gallup survey, 10.5% of Millennials identify as LGBTQ+, a significantly higher percentage compared to 4.2% of Gen X, 2.6% of Baby Boomers, and just 0.8% of Traditionalists. This higher rate of LGBTQ+ identification within the Millennial generation is notable, especially since Millennials are also the driving force behind the houseplant craze.
In fact, the term "plant gay" has emerged to describe individuals who not only collect houseplants but also have a deep passion for them. Urban Dictionary defines a "plant gay" as someone who has many plants and/or loves plants, making it clear that this is a distinct cultural trend among LGBTQ+ people. So, it appears that the connection between gays and houseplants is real, and it's growing—both literally and figuratively.
The Emotional Benefits of Houseplants for Gay Men
Pop culture trends aside, the relationship between gay men and houseplants goes much deeper, offering important emotional and psychological benefits. In 2021, the Centre for Gay Counseling published an insightful article exploring how caring for houseplants can teach gay men to live mindfully and nurture themselves without judgment.
One of the primary advantages is that plants teach us about nurturance and care. Many gay men, especially those who didn’t receive adequate emotional support growing up, may struggle to develop a strong sense of self-worth. Tending to plants provides an opportunity to recognize and address neglected aspects of their lives, allowing them to cultivate a healthier sense of self-worth and fulfillment.
Additionally, plants affirm sensitive and nurturing qualities, which are often undervalued or criticized, particularly for gay men who were told they were “too sensitive” or “too feminine” in their youth. Since plants require attentive care to thrive, they offer a way to reconnect with and embrace those qualities, reshaping the perception of sensitivity as a strength rather than something to be ashamed of.
Plants also offer a reminder that it's okay to have needs. Many gay men grow up internalizing the belief that their needs are secondary, but by caring for plants, they learn that it’s not only natural but essential to tend to their own needs, leading to healthier self-awareness and self-care practices.
The care required for different types of plants also teaches important lessons about the complexities of nurturing. Just as each plant has unique needs, so do we, and this process can help individuals reflect on their own self-care journey. It’s often filled with trial and error, like forgetting to water a plant, which provides an opportunity to practice patience and acceptance. These experiences foster an environment where mistakes are seen as part of the learning process, encouraging self-compassion and a willingness to grow from setbacks.
Caring for plants also promotes mindfulness, encouraging a slower, more present way of living, which can counteract the pressure to constantly be productive—a common experience for many gay men due to societal expectations. Taking time to care for plants can foster a sense of peace and balance, offering an escape from the hustle and bustle of daily life. Finally, plants offer a safe, non-judgmental relationship, which can be particularly significant for gay men who have faced judgment or safety concerns in their interactions with others. Unlike human relationships, plants provide a space for care without the risk of criticism, offering emotional security and a sense of calm.
Adopt a Growth Mindset
No matter your sexuality or generation, having plants around can be a positive addition to your space, and the physiological and emotional benefits they offer are undeniable. Plants help create a calming environment, improve mindfulness, and purify the air—all of which contribute to a sense of well-being. There’s something deeply satisfying about having greenery around, signaling growth and the potential for change.
This growth can be literal, as we tend to our plants, ensuring they stay healthy and thrive. Or, it can symbolize our own personal growth, as we prepare ourselves for the next stage in life. Just as plants require care, patience, and intention to flourish, so do we as individuals. As we strive for personal development, it’s essential to create a safe, nurturing environment that allows us to reflect, plan, and grow.
And remember. Every day is all we have, so you've got to make your own happiness.
For more information on this topic, listen to Episode 48. Plant Gays and Mindfulness Lessons.
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