Take Off the Straight Jacket
When discriminatory actions are directed toward gay people, they are often labeled as homophobic. However, some have questioned the use of the term "homophobia," suggesting that it implies irrational fear rather than outright hatred. In recent years, the term "heterosexism" has emerged as an alternative, offering a different lens through which to understand and address societal biases against LGBTQ+ individuals.
While similar, heterosexism differs from homophobia in its scope and manifestation, focusing more on systemic discrimination rather than individual prejudice. Understanding heterosexism is crucial, as it allows us to recognize the broader societal structures that perpetuate inequality and empowers us to take action in combating these injustices, both within our communities and beyond.
Homophobia vs. Heterosexism: Understanding the Difference
Homophobia, defined by Merriam-Webster as the irrational fear or discrimination against gay people, was coined in the mid-1960s by American psychotherapist George Weinberg. He observed negative reactions from his colleagues toward his gay friends and shared these insights with early gay rights activists Jack Nichols and Lige Clarke. They first used the term in 1965 in Screw, a magazine aimed at straight men, to describe how some men feared being perceived as gay.
The term gained wider recognition when Time magazine featured it in 1969. In 1972, Weinberg's book Society and the Healthy Homosexual further popularized the term, and he played a key role in removing homosexuality from the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
In comparison, heterosexism is discrimination against non-heterosexual people based on the belief that heterosexuality is the only natural form of sexuality. While the term was first recorded in 1972, many credit activist Craig Rodwell with its creation in 1971. In his article "The Tarnished Golden Rule," Rodwell described how people immersed in a heterosexual-dominated society often fail to recognize the prejudice against non-heterosexual individuals.
While homophobia and heterosexism are often used interchangeably, they differ in scope. Homophobia is an individual, emotional response to LGBTQ+ people, often expressed through overt hostility. Heterosexism, however, is systemic, embedded in cultural norms, policies, and institutions, subtly reinforcing advantages for heterosexual people and marginalizing LGBTQ+ individuals. Examples of heterosexism include:
- Marriage laws that only recognize heterosexual unions
- Media representations that predominantly feature heterosexual relationships
- Workplace policies that do not accommodate same-sex partnerships
- Educational curricula that exclude or misrepresent LGBTQ+ issues and histories
Manifestations of Heterosexism
Heterosexism manifests in various ways, often rooted in stereotypes and assumptions that diminish the complexity of the LGBTQ+ community. As Case Western Reserve University's LGBT Center notes, these attitudes simplify and disempower LGBTQ+ individuals, leading to harmful generalizations and systemic discrimination.
- Over-sexualization:
LGBTQ+ individuals are often reduced to their sexuality. For example, while straight couples are seen as having non-sexual relationships, same-sex couples are frequently defined by their sexual orientation. This extends to assumptions that all LGBTQ+ individuals are attracted to the same gender or that everything they do is linked to their sexuality. - Denying Significance:
Heterosexism can minimize the importance of LGBTQ+ identities both personally and politically. On a personal level, LGBTQ+ individuals may be expected to hide their relationships, making them invisible. Politically, heterosexism ignores the specific struggles LGBTQ+ people face, such as the lack of legal protections, while favoring heterosexual relationships with legal and societal privileges. - Labeling LGBTQ+ Identity as a Problem:
Some conservative views treat LGBTQ+ identities as issues to be fixed rather than respecting them as valid and deserving of equality. - Invisibility:
Society often assumes everyone is straight or cisgender, forcing LGBTQ+ individuals to “come out” to be seen. This assumption also extends to societal expectations, like the belief that everyone wants a traditional heterosexual life, erasing the experiences of bisexual, transgender, and queer people. - Minimizing Heterosexism:
Some people downplay heterosexism, viewing it as less significant than other forms of oppression, though it continues to harm LGBTQ+ individuals personally and systemically. - Generalization:
Heterosexism includes generalizing LGBTQ+ people as representatives of the entire community or isolating them. Comments like "You don’t seem that gay" limit the diversity of LGBTQ+ identities and reinforce harmful stereotypes. - Expecting LGBTQ+ People to Educate Others:
It is not the responsibility of LGBTQ+ individuals to educate others about their identities. Everyone should take the initiative to learn and challenge their own assumptions. - Misdefining LGBTQ+ Identities:
Misunderstanding LGBTQ+ identities, such as associating bisexuality with nonmonogamy or assuming lesbians hate men, perpetuates harmful stereotypes and misconceptions. The use of "gay" as an insult also reinforces heterosexism.
The Impact of Heterosexism: From Microaggressions to Trauma
Heterosexism is something most of us have encountered, and dealing with it can be emotionally draining. According to a 2020 study published in the Public Library of Science, subtle forms of heterosexism significantly shape the social and academic experiences of students in higher education settings. The study highlights how microaggressions—seemingly small, everyday slights—can convey hostile and derogatory messages about one's sexual minority status, which we’ve touched on in previous episodes.
As Derald Wing Sue notes in his 2010 book Microaggressions in Everyday Life: Race, Gender, and Sexual Orientation, sexual orientation microaggressions reflect deep-seated societal biases that continue to negatively impact sexual minorities. These daily microaggressions often lead to increased marginalization, isolation, and devaluation of LGBTQ+ individuals, further compounding the difficulties faced in a heterosexist society.
Additionally, heterosexism can be traumatic, as discussed by Chris Tompkins, a registered associate marriage and family therapist, in a 2022 Psychology Today article. Tompkins differentiates between physical and emotional trauma, noting that while physical trauma (often referred to as "big T trauma") is more immediately visible, emotional trauma ("little T trauma") can be just as harmful. Heterosexism contributes to emotional trauma by perpetuating ongoing distress for those who experience it. Research cited by Tompkins also shows that heterosexism is a key predictor of PTSD among gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals, linking it to higher levels of psychological distress overall.
The Public Library of Science study further emphasizes that microaggressions related to heterosexism, such as hearing peers say "that's so gay," are strongly correlated with negative perceptions of campus climate. These incidents contribute to lowered satisfaction with peer interactions and perceptions of faculty support for student development, affecting both heterosexual and non-heterosexual students.
In essence, the cumulative effect of everyday heterosexism, whether in the form of microaggressions or more overt acts, can have a lasting psychological impact, manifesting as emotional trauma that compounds the challenges of living in a heterosexist society.
How to Combat Heterosexism: Allyship in Action
While we may be aware of the pervasive presence of heterosexism in society, challenging and overcoming it can often feel overwhelming. Society’s structure is deeply rooted in heterosexist norms, and simply using affirmations or practicing breathing exercises won’t change this systemic issue overnight. However, there are steps that allies can take to help combat heterosexism and create a more inclusive environment for LGBTQ+ individuals.
These guidelines, based on the Safe Zone Program at Kentucky State, offer practical advice for allyship:
- Approach others with a nonjudgmental attitude.
- Recognize that being LGBTQ+ is not something to be ashamed of.
- Understand that the problem lies in homophobia, not in someone's sexual orientation or gender identity.
- Use inclusive language that avoids reinforcing heterosexist norms.
- Avoid making assumptions about someone’s gender identity or sexual orientation.
- Refrain from teasing or harassing others, and be mindful of the impact of your words.
- Never out someone without their consent.
- Don’t define LGBTQ+ people solely by their sexual orientation.
- Challenge homophobic jokes, comments, and slurs whenever they arise.
- Speak up when you witness acts of homophobia or heterosexism.
- Acknowledge that sexual orientation is more than just sexual behavior.
- Commit to ongoing education and engage in inclusive practices to support LGBTQ+ rights.
By embodying these principles, allies can actively contribute to reducing the impact of heterosexism and foster a more inclusive and supportive society.
Moving Forward: Collective Action for Change
As frustrating as it may be, it’s important to remember that meaningful change in addressing heterosexism won’t happen overnight since deeply ingrained societal norms require consistent effort and accountability to challenge effectively. While it can feel overwhelming, especially when considering the vast scope of this issue, we each have a role to play, even if it feels like we’re just one person.
Rather than tackling everything at once, it's more effective to focus on what we can do today based on where we’re at and what feels safe. This might mean addressing our own unconscious biases, like not assuming someone's gender identity or sexual orientation, or having tough conversations about anti-LGBTQ+ legislation with family and friends. For those able to do more, engaging in advocacy or joining organizations pushing for systemic change can make a significant impact.
While individual efforts may feel small, collective action strengthens our community. We must support each other and encourage our allies to speak up. Through consistent, unified efforts, we can build a more inclusive and equitable society for everyone. Together, our voices are louder, and our impact stronger.
And remember: every day is all we have, so you've got to make your own happiness.
For more information on this topic, listen to Episode 118. Heterosexism: Take Off the Straight Jacket.
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