Financial Empowerment for LGBTQ+ Individuals: Building Wealth and Security with Queer Money

“Credit Score is My Safe Word”

Financial stability presents challenges for many individuals, but LGBTQ+ individuals often face additional hurdles, such as the LGBTQ+ wage gap, job discrimination, and historical crises like the HIV/AIDS epidemic. These barriers can hinder financial growth and well-being. For some, societal pressures to project an image of success can lead to overspending, further exacerbating financial instability.

David Auten and John Schneider, founders of Queer Money and creators of the Debt Lasso method, understand these struggles firsthand. Once caught in a cycle of excessive spending, they found themselves $51,000 in credit card debt while living what they thought was a fabulous life. Their financial wake-up call led them to reassess their priorities and develop a strategy to regain control of their money. Now, through their platform and media appearances in Business Insider, Time, and The Motley Fool, they help LGBTQ+ individuals break free from financial burdens and build sustainable wealth—proving that it's possible to live fabulously without being fabulously broke.

Financial Realities of LGBTQ+ Individuals

LGBTQ+ individuals often face financial struggles due to systemic issues. The LGBTQ+ wage gap, job discrimination, and the lingering effects of the HIV/AIDS crisis contribute to economic instability. During the height of the AIDS epidemic, many gay men embraced a "live for today" mentality, fearing that their time might be limited. While healthcare advancements have changed the landscape of HIV, the ethos of "live for today" still influences financial behaviors, especially in the pursuit of outward displays of wealth.

John explains, "One of the challenges that gay men specifically have is in that pursuit of being the best little boy in the world, we’ve got to have all of those outward displays of wealth—the cars, the vacations, the designer clothing… That’s in part a hangover from the HIV/AIDS crisis because there was sort of this ethos that was adopted during that time of ‘live for today because tomorrow, I will die.’" This mindset can lead to financial instability, as it prioritizes maintaining appearances over long-term wealth-building.

Further complicating financial security is the ongoing LGBTQ+ wage gap. Research by the Human Rights Campaign highlights that LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly people of color and transgender individuals, earn significantly less than their heterosexual peers, making it harder to save, invest, and build wealth. However, recent studies show signs of progress, particularly in dual-income households, where LGBTQ+ individuals are starting to close the wage gap.

The Link Between Financial Stress and Health

Financial stress is not only an emotional burden—it can also negatively impact physical health. Studies have linked financial strain to increased risks of hypertension, stroke, weight gain, and substance abuse. John points out, "Financial stress just exacerbates the other stress that can cause hypertension, can increase body weight, increase risk of stroke… and it oftentimes leads to many of us [having] increased chances of drug and alcohol addiction, which just compounds everything else."

By understanding their finances, LGBTQ+ individuals can reduce financial anxiety, improving both mental and physical well-being. Tracking income, expenses, and debt creates a sense of control, while open discussions about money with a partner or financial advisor can alleviate stress and foster better financial health.

The Importance of LGBTQ+ Financial Education

Financial advice is often generic and overlooks the unique experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals. Factors such as gender, sexual orientation, and cultural background influence one’s financial relationship. For example, someone raised in a household that avoided financial discussions may struggle with budgeting, while another individual who faced financial instability might develop a scarcity mindset.

LGBTQ+ individuals also require guidance on issues specific to their experiences, such as navigating healthcare costs as a same-sex couple or facing discrimination in housing and employment. Recognizing these factors creates a more empowering approach to financial planning.

Breaking the Silence: Why LGBTQ+ People Need to Talk About Money

Talking about money is often uncomfortable, yet it is essential for well-being. Financial transparency in relationships leads to stronger emotional connections. David emphasizes, “Couples that talk to each other about their finances have better sex.” When partners share financial information, such as debts, credit scores, and long-term goals, trust is built, and the relationship is strengthened.

However, societal pressures often drive LGBTQ+ individuals to overspend in order to project an image of success. David reflects, “We as a community talk about living authentically, being your true self, and yet we put so many layers over ourselves to hide who we truly are, and more often than not, those layers are funded with the money that we don’t have.” Living authentically in financial matters means aligning spending with actual income and personal values rather than societal expectations.

The Difference Between Being Rich and Being Wealthy

Many people equate being "rich" with luxury and excess. However, true financial security comes from wealth, which is about sustainability, not appearances. As David explains, "Rich is something that can be faked. You cannot fake being wealthy." Wealth is about having the resources to maintain long-term stability, regardless of income level or lifestyle.

David and John advocate for prioritizing long-term financial growth over short-term displays of wealth. They outline the "four financial freedoms":

• Relationship Freedom
• Time Freedom
• Location Freedom
• Financial Freedom

Focusing on these freedoms can help LGBTQ+ individuals build a secure future and create lasting wealth.

Financial Tools and Resources for LGBTQ+ Individuals

Navigating personal finance can be daunting, but using the right tools can help individuals build wealth. A good credit score is crucial for securing favorable loan terms and lower interest rates. Tools like Capital One’s CreditWise and Experian Boost help track and improve credit scores, allowing individuals to boost their scores by adding recurring payments to their credit history.

Investing early is also key to long-term financial security. Many LGBTQ+ individuals are not saving enough for retirement, with only 38% using retirement accounts. Platforms like Betterment, Wealthfront, and Ellevest make investing accessible, allowing individuals to start with as little as $5.

David emphasizes the importance of starting early: “John and I waited until we were in our mid-30s to start saving for our retirement, and for that reason, we had to take even more money out of our paychecks to try to catch up. Please don’t let that happen to you.”

Achieving Financial Empowerment and Community Strength

Financial empowerment is essential for strengthening the LGBTQ+ community. By achieving financial security, individuals can protect their futures and support causes that defend LGBTQ+ rights. As John explains, “The mission of the [Queer Money] is to take the LGBTQ+ community from financial insecurity to financial abundance…because the more resources we have, including money, the more money we can put into the people, causes, and organizations that are supporting and defending our rights.”

Financial independence also enables individuals to give back without sacrificing their well-being. David adds, “When your cup is overflowing, you’re in a better position to contribute meaningfully and sustainably.”

Moving Toward Financial Freedom

Achieving financial freedom is a gradual journey, but every small step taken today contributes to a more secure tomorrow. While the path to building wealth can seem daunting, it’s important to remember that lasting financial success is built over time through consistent, manageable actions. Whether it’s saving a small amount each paycheck, making informed decisions about where to live, or contributing to a retirement plan, each decision is a building block toward financial stability.

By focusing on small, achievable goals, LGBTQ+ individuals can start creating a foundation for financial health without feeling overwhelmed by the larger picture. Financial empowerment doesn’t happen overnight, but with perseverance and the right tools, it’s possible to create a future of financial security that allows for both personal growth and community impact. Taking control of your financial future is a powerful form of self-care, and with time, the results will become clear—enabling you to live a life that feels not only financially secure but also fulfilling and abundant.

And remember: every day is all we have, so you've got to make your own happiness.

For more information on this topic, listen to Episode 93. Unlock Financial Freedom (with David & John Auten-Schneider).

Tune into your favorite podcast player every Tuesday for new episodes of A Jaded Gay.