130. Pride in Motion: Inclusive Fitness and Body-Positive Coaching (with Roy Belzer)

Snarky Opener (0:00)

Roy Belzer

I'll have the comment tagged in the video so that people can see the outrageous thing they're saying and then turn around and see me doing these ridiculous workouts and just completely disproving their point.

Episode Introduction (0:32)

Rob Loveless

Hello, my LGBTQuties, and welcome back to another episode of A Jaded Gay. I'm Rob Loveless and, today, I am a jaded gay because I'm recording this just about a week after we found out the disappointing results of the election.

Not going to dwell on that too much, except for the fact that just a week after those results came in, some stranger slid into my DMs on Instagram and asked me if I wanted to get together to fool around.

Like, excuse me, as democracy is crumbling around us? How can anyone be horny at a time like this? And for the record, the only D I want in my life at the moment is Democrats in the White House. M-kay?

LGBTQ+ Body Positivity (1:13)

Rob Loveless

Anyway, from hookups to push-ups, today, I am super excited to have another special guest on. You know, we've talked about body image in the past.

Obviously, there's a lot of pressure body image-wise, for society as a whole, but there's definitely some added layers of complexity when it comes to gay body image.

And especially around the holidays, I feel like, you know, body image can be kind of a stressful thing.

We're around family and friends we might have not seen in a while, and sometimes family makes not-so-gentle comments about your appearance.

Or you might be at different holiday meals where you're eating foods that you don't normally eat, or you might not be able to get to a gym or just move around and you're just off your schedule, and it might make you feel a little bit more stressful and maybe even a little bit more self-conscious.

So, I think it's very important that we have a quick little topic before we really get into the full swing of the holiday season to talk about body positivity in the lens of inclusive fitness.

So, we will get into that in a minute. But before we do let's pull the tarot card.

Tarot (2:16)

Rob Loveless

So, the card we drew for this episode is the Six of Swords. As a reminder, Swords is tied to the element of air. It's encapsulating of masculine energy, so it's very action-oriented.

And Swords is tied to truth, structure, communication, both written and verbal. So, you can think of phrases like the Sword of Truth and the pen is mightier than the sword.

And in numerology, six is tied to balance, choice, and harmony. And I think it's really important to remember that when we look at the tarot, the number five, which precedes six, is typically referred to as the conflict card.

So, when we pull a six, we're coming out right after that conflict that we've gone through, and now we're at a point where we're starting to reach peace and balance and harmony.

And specifically, this card is asking us to guide us toward release, both mentally and emotionally. And it's kind of signifying that we need to take action to embark on a healing journey.

And as we embark on that, remember to let go of whatever is holding us back and to start taking action to move forward, although it might be uncertain and scary.

But we need to just trust our intuition, leave that emotional baggage at the door, and start taking action to move forward.

Guest Introduction (3:23)

Rob Loveless

And with that in mind, I'm very excited to welcome on our special guest. He is a body-positive fitness coach and thique goddess. Please welcome Roy Belzer. Hi, Roy. How are you today?

Roy Belzer

I'm doing well. How are you doing, Rob?

Rob Loveless

Doing well, thanks. Hanging in. It's been a busy few weeks leading up to the holiday season, but we're almost there, so just trying to get through these next few weeks.

Roy Belzer

Oh, honestly, though, yeah. It's always a busy period for me, moving into the holiday season, especially working in fitness and working in theater as well.

I always have like, little bits and pieces of, like, pick up gigs that I'm doing. So, it's always super busy.

Rob Loveless

I know. There's always something. If it's not one thing, it's the other, you know?

Roy Belzer

Yeah.

Rob Loveless

Awesome. Well, to kick off the episode, I'm very excited to have you on today.

To kick things off, can you please tell all the listeners a little bit about yourself, how you identify, your pronouns, career, all that fun stuff?

Roy Belzer

Yeah, definitely. So, I'm Roy Belzer. He/him/his. I am a certified personal trainer, and I do a lot of work in public speaking and influencer work as well.

And I mostly work in the the body inclusivity space, talking about fitness.

Rob Loveless

I like to ask all my guests this too, are you a jaded or non-jaded gay today, and why?

Roy Belzer

Um, I feel like I'm to a point where I'm no longer a jaded gay. I have definitely been a jaded gay in the past, just based on the way that I've dated and the way that I've been treated by men.

Um, but I am to a point now where I am healed and past all of those interactions and relationships and feeling like I can be in a non-jaded place anymore.

Rob Loveless

We love a non-jaded healing journey.

Roy Belzer

Yeah, it took a long time, but we got there.

Rob Loveless

Definitely, it's a process.

Roy Belzer

Yes, absolutely.

Body Image in the Gay Community (5:18)

Rob Loveless

Well, to jump into this episode, you know, we have a lot to cover here. So just to kick it off, can you tell us a little bit about your relationship with body image?

Roy Belzer

Absolutely. So, my relationship with my body image has been cultivated through my personal journey with fitness and with health and and with my history with eating disorders, and all of that came from being up and down the scale over the past several years and finding ways to love myself long term.

So, I talk about this a lot. I have a heavy history with eating disorders, both anorexia nervosa and bulimia, and so much of that is brought on by the standards that are set within the queer community and the expectations that are put on us as people who identify as queer and what our bodies are supposed to look like and how they're supposed to move.

And so seeing the way that other people are expecting us to be perceived, I've have put a lot of pressure on myself to look that certain way, but over time, I'm finally getting to a point where I've healed my own body image and I can break away from those expectations and feel a lot better in the body that I'm in and and turning that around and being a source for others to find love in their own body.

Rob Loveless

I love how you were able to take that struggle with body image and turn it into a positive to help others who may be encountering similar struggles.

And I know you mentioned body dysmorphia there. For listeners who aren't aware, can you just explain a little bit more about what body dysmorphia is?

Roy Belzer

Yeah, absolutely. So, body dysmorphia tends to be the inability to perceive your body in the way that it presents outwardly.

So often we see body dysmorphia and people who are in smaller bodies but perceive themselves to be much bigger than they actually are, and that is how I personally experienced it myself when I was going through my bouts with my anorexia and bulimia.

And when you get to that point where you're not able to perceive yourself the same way that the outside world does, you tend to fall into extremes, leaning further into certain habits to get to the body that you see yourself in, if that makes sense.

Rob Loveless

It does. And do you remember the first time you were made conscious of your body or experienced body shaming?

Roy Belzer

Oh, absolutely. I was, I was young. I must have been in middle school, I think. And I've always been a part of theater. That's always been a really big part of my life.

So, it was definitely my first time I was working in, working in theater when I was doing a show at the middle school. I was in a a musical at the time, and I had to go in for a costume fitting, and the costumer was making comments about making pieces that were big enough to fit my body for the show that we were doing.

And I, up until that point, you know, young innocence, I had no idea what it meant to be in a larger versus smaller body, what it meant to be fat versus skinny.

Because when you're, you know, that young and innocent, you don't understand that there are differences in the way that you're perceived.

So that that was the moment where I had to, like, look at myself for the first time from an outside perspective. Instead of just existing in my body, I had to perceive my body.

Rob Loveless

It's really sad to hear that. You know you're talking about being young and innocent, and then this emotional weight is put upon you because you're made aware of your body and your weight.

And I think it's it's interesting because body image is something that's so ingrained in society as a whole that we don't realize necessarily the impacts it has on those around us, even just from little comments.

I mean, I also from fifth through eighth grade, I went through a period of where I was heavier and then developed into my own issues with eating, and, you know, struggling with anorexia and such.

And that was, you know, that was just dealing with mainstream body image within the straight world, and then gay world is its whole other thing.

But really, comments like these to children to really kind of put pressure on them to adhere to something, or make them feel like you're heavier than your classmate or this or that, like it's just very heavy to put on a child, I think.

Roy Belzer

No, absolutely. I don't think that any child should be subjected to having to think about what their body is looking like because there's so much else that they've got to worry about already that they might be bullied about or picked on or just like trying to figure out who they are as a person at that young age that tacking on something like the size of their body is, I think it's just a really unhealthy space to be talking to a child about, in general.

Making them aware that they have a body and that this is how your body works, absolutely. That's great, I love that so that they can learn bodily autonomy and advocate for themselves.

But talking about specifically their weight and how it is seen within society, I feel like is really unnecessary and not healthy at certain ages.

Rob Loveless

Definitely, and I think there's an old school mindset of your weight equals the number on the scale, whereas you're not thinking of your body as you know, how you treat it, what you're putting into it, how is it feeling?

Is it feeling tired? Is it feeling energetic? So, as a child, when you're saying you need to lose weight, you're thinking, I need to lose these numbers on the scale, because this number equals this body type, or this equals healthy.

Whereas you're not really teaching overall body health about how to treat your body well, as opposed to focusing on a number.

Roy Belzer

Absolutely. And when you're looking at that scale, especially when you're at that age and you're still trying to figure out, like right from wrong, you tend to have a moral attachment that you throw in there as well, and that moral attachment to like, what is good and bad?

Like is this a good number on the scale? Is this a bad number on the scale?

It tends to be a bit of a snowball effect where you you get into like good and bad foods and attaching like moral subjection to those as well, which is totally unnecessary.

Rob Loveless

Absolutely. And you touched upon earlier, your experiences within the queer community also plays a role in shaping your body image.

And you know, there's kind of the joke that somebody might be fit in the straight world, but fat in the gay world, because there's such high expectations of this hyper-masculine, overly sexualized, fit, ripped body that's somewhat straight presenting that is not realistic for a lot of us.

So how did your identity as a gay man impact your relationship with your body?

Roy Belzer

Oh, that's a that's a big question, because I, I both am a man within the queer community and in the theater community.

So those two intersections of expectations for like looking a certain way are so incredibly high because I, I felt like for a long time, I identified as like an actor above like a person within the queer community, and I saw all the other people who were getting cast in certain roles had certain body types that were being picked before I was being picked for things.

And then when I turned around and looked to my like queer peers who were just out in the world, they were getting picked for like, dates over me, and they were getting picked for different job opportunities over me because they had, like, a certain body type.

So, experiencing and seeing like, what people within certain body types, you know, the stereotypical six-pack abs, bulging muscles, etc., them getting advanced opportunities over people who are in other bodies or more average quote unquote body types, it can be really disheartening to see and, and it can definitely lead a little bit further into that body dysmorphia that we were talking about earlier.

Rob Loveless

And circling back to the body dysmorphia, you did touch upon how you struggled with an eating disorder when you were younger. So, can you tell us a little bit more about that?

Roy Belzer

I, so my primary ones were the anorexia first. And for those who don't know, anorexia nervosa is where you, you limit the amount of caloric intake in your life and, and you fast and control what comes in.

And then the other eating disorder I really learned, leaned into was bulimia.

And for those who don't know, instead of avoidance of calories, you would still consume food and then purge in one way or another.

So, this could be making yourself throw up, or you could lean more into orthorexia, where, instead of throwing up, you over-exercise to get rid of the calories.

But mine, mine were primarily the anorexia and bulimia when I was much younger, and I feel like I leaned into those because, out of the things that I could control in my life, the amount of food that I was bringing into my body was one of the biggest things that I personally had control over.

And I was, I was leaning into the aspect of fully controlling the size of my body as well. But the biggest thing that I could do in that space was control what I was consuming.

So, I went definitely too far with it, to the point that I was eventually hospitalized for passing out from malnourishment, and I have, 10 years later, different things that are still that are still a struggle today, that are because of that.

Like I, I lost bits of hair because I was malnourished. I have rough enamel on my teeth because I made myself throw up so much, you know.

I have little bits of rough liver function, and my pancreas doesn't know how to regulate sugar intake as well as it should, you know, as someone who is not diabetic.

But, yeah, I definitely leaned into those and it gave me that sense of control over at least one moment in my life about one thing.

Rob Loveless

Thank you for sharing that. I know it's a super personal story, and obviously, it could be very sensitive to some listeners, but I think it is important to share these kinds of stories to raise awareness around this.

Especially since men in society tend to be overlooked for having eating disorders, it's, you know, classified as a quote-unquote woman's disease.

So, going off of that, what inspired you to embrace your body and work to cope with your disordered eating?

Roy Belzer

Honestly, my work in fitness has been one of the biggest things that has helped my personal journey in in self-love, and it's finding, finding different ways to move my body and see a function in ways that are so much more intricate than just losing weight have been so impactful to me.

Like I I've learned over the last several years of working in fitness, I've been a trainer for coming up on nine years now, that my body can do so much more than just be skinny.

Like I no longer attach value to the size of my waist. I attach value to the things that my body can do, and it's so cool to see the things that it can do now.

And I like, I've ran a marathon now, it is insane, you know, to say that I can do that, because not many people have pushed their body to be able to do something like that.

And I can squat 400 pounds, which is also wild to me now that I'm looking at it from a scope of when I was anorexic and starving myself. I couldn't do these things. I didn't have the energy for them.

I didn't have I didn't have the ability to push myself when I wasn't consuming enough calories.

And so, through finding really cool things that my body is able to do, I have found a new love for the body that I'm in because my body is carrying me to do all of these incredible things.

And it's it's so much more valuable than I ever gave myself credit for.

Body Positive Fitness (18:43)

Rob Loveless

I love that. And can you tell us a little bit more about your career as a body-positive fitness coach?

Roy Belzer

Absolutely. So, most of the clients that I work with are are people who have gone through eating disorders themselves, or who are on their own journey to self-love and adoration.

So, I work with them in a one-on-one space where we have conversations about their relationships with food.

We for the week, because I meet with them weekly, have conversations with accomplishments that their bodies have done throughout the week, what their relationship has been with movement for the week.

Sometimes I have clients who come to me and they're like, oh, my God, I scaled up this one lift that I was doing, and I'm able to do it without pain now.

Or sometimes I have clients come in and they're like, this week was not the week for me. I just had to, like, not exist. And I was like, Okay, that's all right. If that's where we had to be this week, that's okay.

We have a checkpoint. We see where it is, and we move forward from there because none of it is the end of the world.

You know, one week on the grand scheme of your health journey, being a little bit off is not the end of the world.

You know, you took how many weeks before you started your journey, and you're still doing okay, you know?

But I love working with clients, and I love the work that I get to do, hosting retreats as well, where I get to meet these people in person, one-on-one.

Like next year, I'm hosting seven retreats where people get to show up and we get to have all of these conversations, not only one-on-one, but we get to do it in a community of people who are also on very similar journeys, and it's a safe space to talk about all of the things that we're going through.

So, it's no longer you're going through this journey alone. You're going through this journey with this group of like-minded individuals, and you get to see what their lived experience has been like as well.

You get to have conversations around like food that you maybe have never experienced before.

You get to try new things in movement and have different modifications, and get to see really, um, really cool outside perspectives on things while you're, excuse me, surrounded by people.

Rob Loveless

That's amazing. I love that you built that community.

Especially because I feel like traditionally with fitness, it could feel very intimidating going to a gym, or even just looking online and seeing the different fitness influencers.

It tends to be people who are super swole and jacked, and maybe especially if you're a man, somebody who's more masculine presenting, traditionally masculine presenting, where it could be almost aggressive.

And I don't think those accurately reflect everybody who's looking to, you know, embark on a fitness journey.

There's a lot of people who just want to add a little movement into their day, or just do a little strength training. They're not looking to be, you know, an Arnold Schwarzenegger type.

So, it's good to have those inclusive spaces. And with that in mind, I was curious, what does body positivity mean to you?

Roy Belzer

Ah, that's a big question. So, for me, I often get asked, why do you practice body positivity versus body neutrality?

And for me, it's because I I spent so many years with my eating disorders and body dysmorphia, leaning into the hate for myself and fueling everything that I did in a place of hatred, like, oh, I hate this part of my body. How can I change this?

Oh, I hate that I look this way when I look in the mirror. How can I, you know, mitigate this?

And I personally have to practice body positivity in a telling myself I love myself and every piece of myself because otherwise, I will lean into that hatred that was once there.

And I so for me, body neutrality, where it's like, this is my body. I have it. It is my body. It is there, and you are neutral about it.

I love that for people, I love that it is a safe space for people mentally to be there. It's not where I can personally be on my own journey. I have to lean into the love for myself, or I will fall back into the hate.

Rob Loveless

I think that's really important that you bring that up, because disordered eating, it's not just something you get over. It's not like a cold where, you know, you take your medicine and you're healed.

It's something that is always in the back of your mind, and you have good days and bad days.

So, I think it's really important how you've talked about leaning into being compassionate towards yourself and practicing self-love, to to remind yourself that, you know, like you said earlier, this is my body, and it's done amazing things.

It doesn't necessarily need to adhere to the cookie-cutter image of what's expected of me, to know that I deserve to be treated well and to treat myself well.

Roy Belzer

And I mean to your point, having gone through eating disorders, it will be a piece of you forever, whether or not you are, like healed on your journey.

Like it's it's always something that you have gone through, and it's always something that is kind of in the back of your mind, is something that might be a potential to fall back into.

So having those like little checks along the way is so important, regardless of where you're at and your journey with it.

Like I would consider myself very healed with it, but I still have moments where I overanalyze the body that I'm currently in.

You know, especially because I'm, I'm currently in a bigger body than I've been in a long while, and I'm, I'm losing a bit of body fat right now because of the musical that I'm in.

I'm doing a lot of dancing right now, and it's hard to keep up with calorie intake versus versus exercise output, so I'm doing a lot of body checks now that I've returned to a theatrical space and I'm in a healed place in my heart, but I also have those little thoughts in the back of my head where I'm like, oh no, I am seeing myself from that light again.

Don't want to do that, but yeah, it's, it's always going to be a little bit of a journey for me, and that's okay, you know.

Body Positive LGBTQ+ Representation (25:18)

Rob Loveless

Going off of that a little bit, you know, talking about being in theater, also being online as a body-positive fitness influencer, why do you think it's important to see inclusive body size in the media, especially in regards to LGBTQ+ representation?

Roy Belzer

I feel like it's so important just to have representation across the board in all different types of bodies, just because the world isn't a singular body type.

The world isn't what we've been shown while we were growing up as millennials.

It's the world is diverse, and it should be allowed to be diverse, and as long as you're doing things that you know bring you joy and aren't hurting others, like you should absolutely be allowed to do those things that bring you joy, you know, and and to that like you should be able to see yourself in media.

And I feel like one of the biggest things that I get from all of my my clients, my followers, all of the people who are, who are consuming my content, they all say it is so nice to see someone in a body like mine.

And it's so nice to be that for people and to be a part of their journey, whether that is like them getting into mobility or them getting into a good place with nutrition.

It's so nice to see that the work that I'm doing is having a resounding impact on others' lives and to be a piece of that diversity that is out there on the internet.

Rob Loveless

And while we're talking about social media, I've seen you use the term thique goddess on Instagram, and that's thique spelled, T-H-I-Q-U-E. So, can you tell us more about that?

Roy Belzer

So, someone had commented, um, commented that on one of my posts, maybe two years ago at this point, and I had a bunch of people respond to that comment like, yes, thique goddess.

He is the thique goddess, etc. And I leaned in with it to the point it was, it was a part of my merch, and I posted it on a bunch of videos. I haven't utilized it in a while, but I'm getting back to it.

But I often get recognized out in public because I am, you know, someone of note on the internet, and in queer spaces, there's not as many people, so I'm easy to recognize, but I often have people come up to me like, oh, my god, are you the thique goddess?

And it's never not funny to me in the like, most heartwarming way. I remember it was out with my friends in Philadelphia once, and they they are so over me having any like bit of quote-unquote fame at this point.

Because when people come up and they're like, oh, my god, are you the thique goddess? The eye rolls they give me are so palpable, and I love it.

But yeah, so it was just a random person commented, and then their comment rolled into this entire brand. For me, I loved it.

Rob Loveless

I love that. And are there any fellow thique goddesses or body-positive icons, especially LGBTQ+ people who inspire you?

Roy Belzer

Oh my gosh. So, so many. I have a whole running list of people that I just adore who either are just like thique goddesses and pieces of representation in larger bodies on the internet, or people who are in larger bodies and specific to the fitness industry as well.

And I can't, I have too many to mention, but I can give you a list.

Absolutely, one of the one of my favorite things to do is constantly create videos with tagged lists of people who are safe spaces for you to follow if you're starting a fitness journey that are going to be good for your mental health and give you a lot of diversity when you are looking at things on the internet.

So, I am happy to share one of those lists with you. I actually just recently posted one.

Rob Loveless

Yeah, I'll definitely want to include those in the show notes, so any resources you could send over would be great.

Misconceptions About Body Positivity (29:42)

Rob Loveless

And then, what are some misconceptions about body positivity in relation to fitness?

Roy Belzer

Ooh, I I have a lot of people comment on, uh, different videos of mine when I'm talking about body positivity in the fitness space.

When, um, when I'm posting different videos where they're talking about how it's just an excuse for laziness, or it's a way to cope with not being able to control eating habits, and it's just a scapegoat for this, that or the other.

And it is absolutely not that, because if you look at the videos of what I do in my regular practice as as a trainer, and what I do in the gym like you can see that I am in a larger body and lifting more than you so and it's just one of those.

There are so many misconceptions when it comes to that, where people think it's an excuse for not being able to quote-unquote walk the walk.

And it's absolutely not that, you know, it's a practice of self-love and and good mental health practice while you're on your fitness journey.

Rob Loveless

Obviously, the Internet can be a toxic place, so when you get comments like that, how do you process those so it doesn't trigger body dysmorphia or so it doesn't, you know, upset your self-love routine for yourself?

Roy Belzer

If I'm honest, when I first started posting on the internet, I struggled with that a lot, and it took a long time of receiving comments like that for it to finally just kind of brush off of my shoulder.

And I think one of the most empowering things that I've I've been able to do is utilize their comments and have it tagged at the top of a video, and then show the world that I can do all of these ridiculous things that I've been talking about.

Like, one of my favorite things to do is do arabesques on BOSU balls, which are outrageous. And I do not suggest others do them, but I am a trained dancer, so it's it's something silly that I do.

But I'll have them tagged the the comment tagged in the video so that people can see the outrageous thing they're saying and then turn around and see me doing these ridiculous workouts and just completely disproving their point.

And one of my favorite things about that is their comment pushes my videos to all of the people that need to see my content.

Like all of their hate that they were trying to spurt out is only fueling the algorithm to push my videos to the people who need to consume the content that I create to see that there are safe spaces in fitness.

Rob Loveless

I love how you're able to take the criticism and shift it into something productive and be spreading that message to people who need to see it.

Working with a Body Positive Fitness Coach (32:57)

Rob Loveless

And going off of that a bit, as a body-positive fitness coach, what can your clients expect from working with yourself or somebody else in the body-positive fitness industry?

Roy Belzer

Honestly, it's really cool to work with someone who works kind of in this space.

I have several other trainers who are also either body positive or body neutral that I am friends with, and I think some of the top things that we have in common is creating consistent safe spaces, not doing body checks, where we check in about what your weight is that week.

We don't check to see how your clothes are fitting. We check to see how your body is moving and how your body is feeling in that space.

We do checks about how you're eating, just to make sure that you are eating, seeing if you're getting enough of the nutrients in food that you need to be consuming for whatever your goals are.

But yeah, the biggest one is, is making sure that you are both safe, physically and mentally, while you're moving through space.

Rob Loveless

You touched upon some of your clients' stories earlier in the episode. But do you have a favorite success story you can share with us?

Roy Belzer

Oh my gosh, she's going to kill me talking about this. But one of my favorite success stories is a client who I've been working with for years.

She is this woman in her 60s, who, um, she has a rare form of blood cancer. And when we first started working together, she had just found out that she was no longer going to be terminal.

She was initially given, like, three months to live, and was part of a medical trial, and because it was a successful trial, she was given an additional 20 years instead of three months.

So, she had this turning point in her life where she wanted to, instead of simply be alive, she wanted to live, and she wanted to live fully.

So, we started working together on what that meant to her, and it started with little things, like, I want to be able to walk around the grocery store for an hour. I was like, I love that as a goal.

That's an incredible goal. And we took that goal, and over the last couple of years, we've gotten to the point where she's now doing like regular trips to Las Vegas and walking around the strip and and she's doing like little trips down to the beach and walking around for an entire weekend, and and she's gotten into horseback riding again, and she's doing things that she hasn't been able to do for the better part of a decade.

And it's just so cool to be able to see her now, a few years later, creating even harder goals for herself now that she's seen how much she could do just in that short amount of time.

And I just I love that, and I adore her, and I'm so grateful that I get to, like, be a part of that journey for her.

Rob Loveless

That's amazing. I love that story. And you were also talking about your retreats earlier on as you build an inclusive fitness family community.

So, can you tell us more about these retreats and what attendees can expect from them?

Roy Belzer

100%. So, I started hosting retreats this year, and it has honestly been maybe one of the list things that I've gotten to add to, add to my business. So, I'm hosting retreats all over the US right now.

Next year, I'm hosting seven of them, and each of them has its own, like little theme. Like the one that I'm hosting in San Diego is going to be focused on, like, self-love in the sun.

It's in February, and we all need a little bit of like, sun time around that time. We're doing, like, a trip to the zoo. My retreat in Portland, Oregon, I'm flying my tattoo artist out, so everyone that comes gets a tattoo, included, just little things like that.

And we're doing it all over the US. And while you're on these retreats, we start the retreat with a goal-setting seminar where we all sit down.

You all get a journal to use throughout the week where you're going to write down what your intentions are for the week, what you're looking to get out of the retreat, what hesitations you have about being on the retreat.

And then we build a little family. I hate using the we're a family here in, like, a corporate jargon kind of thing, but we open up so deeply about, like, what our relationships are with food and our bodies and our history with ED stuff and body dysmorphia, that we kind of become a little family.

I can't think of a better example than what my Chicago retreat was back in July, because just today, I got a few messages in a group text from that group of people who are still talking to this day.

They still communicate and keep up with each other, and it's just it's so neat to be able to see like people come together.

And I don't want to say trauma bond, but talk about like, what they've been through, and commiserate with one another, and take a week to just heal.

We do daily movement activities where I walk everyone through a set of exercises in the morning, with modifications for all levels, and then we go on adventures throughout the day.

On the Chicago one, we did a tour of the zoo, an architectural boat tour. Some people went and saw a Cubs game while we were there.

Some of us instead of the Cubs game, because we weren't sporty girlies, we went and did drag bingo instead.

But it was just, it's always such a great time, and it's just so wonderful to be surrounded by these people, and I'm so grateful to like, have these lasting relationships come out of it.

Rob Loveless

That sounds like an amazing time, and I definitely will encourage listeners to check those out after the episode, and we'll have all of Roy's information in the show notes too. So be sure to check him out.

Promoting Body Positivity in the LGBTQ+ Community (39:23)

Rob Loveless

But I think having a community like that is so important because especially in the fitness industry, I feel, you know, our bodies, you're talking about some emotional things people are bringing with them to this.

It's such a vulnerable position to be in, so it's really important that we're surrounding ourselves with people who are like-minded and supportive of that.

And as we talk about community, I think it also reflects to our LGBTQ+ community.

You know, regardless of what our fitness or our body is, whatever, regardless of what our fitness schedule or our what our body might look like, it's up to all of us in this community, I think, to build a more inclusive and accepting place

So, with that in mind, what work can we do as a collective queer community to promote body positivity and inclusivity?

Roy Belzer

Honestly, so much of like as a collective, I think we need to create more inclusive spaces and not ostracize people who are in bodies that are not the social standard.

Because we, as as much as we as a queer community, preach about being a really inclusive space, we do, we do tend to "other" people who do not fit what the expectations of body types are.

And like just having spaces where we can come together and have conversations about what we're going through with our bodies, having spaces where you can attend events and and have gatherings, where people can be in any body type and feel included, are so important.

Like just truly practicing inclusivity, rather than having any kind of ostracization. Wow, that's a hard word, rather than ostracizing people.

Body Image During the Holidays (41:18)

Rob Loveless

And this next question, I think, is especially important and timely, as we're coming upon the holiday season.

With Thanksgiving being this Thursday in the United States, the holidays can be a really stressful time. I think, you know, we're we tend to be off of our routines, our diet.

And I'm not saying diet in terms of dieting to lose weight, but just what we typically eat might be a little thrown off. Maybe we're drinking a little bit more.

Maybe we're not getting to the gym or moving around as much as we want to, and that can be really stressful for people, especially those who are struggling with body image.

So, what advice would you give to LGBTQ+ people who are struggling with body image and potentially eating disorders?

Roy Belzer

Yeah, well, especially when it comes to the holidays, I know so many of us in surrounding ourselves with family this time of year, we do have those, you know, kooky aunts and crazy uncles who will always comment on our bodies, and where we're at, and it's hard to just pay them no mind, but remembering that at the end of the day, it is your body that you are living in, and they are not is so important.

And when it comes to like eating during these times, eat what brings you joy, and don't eat past that point, because otherwise, you're going to be cranky when you're dealing with these idiots.

But eat what brings you joy because this is a joyful time for foods. It's a joyful time for coming together around meals and yeah, just kind of remember that your body is a good body, regardless of where you're at right now.

It has been a hard couple of years, and our bodies might be in a different place than they've been in the past, and that's okay.

Episode Closing (43:06)

Rob Loveless

And connecting it back to the tarot, the Six of Swords, again, this is a very action-oriented card and is really symbolic of taking the action we need to achieve a sense of harmony, peace, and balance.

Six comes right after five, and five is sometimes referred to as the conflict number in numerology.

So, we've just moved on from conflict, and now that we're stepping into number six, it's up to us to take the action and make the choice of how we are going to work on healing ourselves.

So really challenge yourself, on how you can be a little bit kinder to yourself and your body, both physically and emotionally, as we go into this holiday season.

Connect with Roy (43:39)

Rob Loveless

So, Roy, thank you so much for joining us today.

I was so glad to do this interview, and I really appreciate all the work you're doing. I think, like I said, fitness, our diets, it's a really vulnerable thing, so I think it's really important to have people like you and other body-positive fitness people in the industry.

So, thank you again for all your great work. Can you tell all the listeners where they can learn more about you, any upcoming retreats, plug all the things?

Roy Belzer

Absolutely. So, you can find me @roybelzerfitness on TikTok and YouTube. And on Instagram, it's @roybelzerfitness with an underscore at the end.

And then to find information on all of my retreats or any other services that I offer, my membership class, etc., it's just roybelzerfitness.com. You can find all of the information there.

For upcoming retreats, the two biggest ones that are out there right now are my San Diego retreat coming up in February, and that one's going to be five days and four nights.

And I'm very excited for that one. I still have a couple of spots left for that. And then the one after that is going to be in Portland, Oregon, and that is at the end of April, so the perfect time for it to come out of rainy season.

And you can actually see all of the foliage at its like, most beautiful. So those are, those are my two upcoming ones. I have five more after that, but those, those are the first two.

Rob Loveless

And all of that will be included in the show notes, so definitely go check Roy out.

Connect with A Jaded Gay (45:11)

Rob Loveless

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Mmm-bye.